There has been something weighing on my mind for a while and I honestly didn't know how to even bring it up, much less blog about it. When something involves your child you tend to take things cautiously, even over-cautious at times. So goes the way of things in Little Queen's life. As the school year progresses, I regret my decision more and more to stop homeschooling her. I have several reasons for this, so hear me out before judging one way or another. Please note that NONE of my regretful reasons have anything to do with the public school system, or public education, or letting my child out of my site for longer than a minute.
My biggest problem is her particular elementary school, and her teacher in particular. On paper, her school sounds great. There are 1051 elementary schools in the state of Missouri, our school ranks in the top 30 in the state according to schooldigger.com. I don't want to give away the exact number because I am trying to keep things semi-anonymous for the sake of my children. So this school sounds great, right? Sure until you realize the rankings are based on ONE test taken by the 3rd grade and ONE test taken by the 4th grade. Now this school is great for comparing two or more schools together, especially if you have prior experience with one school already. If moving within the same state you would know that the new school has better/worse scores and can assume that the new school will presumably turn out students with slightly better/slightly worse grades. You know, focusing on all the presumablys and assumptions.
What about the students that don't test well, but get good grades anyway? Budget? How accountable are the teachers being held? There are a whole slew of other factors the parents like me never considered, until a lot of hard core research was done. So I was a little disillusioned when placing little Queen in school. But you know what? That's not even anywhere NEAR the honest reason though.
My problem isn't with that, really. Its with her teacher. When we first started we had some difficulties and a The Pool of Tears ensued thereafter. She's great now though. She loves school and actually got mad and pouted in her all day during our last snow day. I even had to give her some homeschool lessons during spring break. This kid LOVES school now. The things that she went through during her first few weeks at the place are the same things that kindergartners go through during their first few weeks. She had never been to ANY school before, of course there was a few week adjustment period! Poor Little Queen has been labeled now as a cryer, a whiner, and a child that generally doesn't adjust well to ANYTHING. Her friends are great and loving and supportive. The bias comes from her teacher! Her latest and greatest scheme now is to have me contact all her friends parents on the "book of face" (actually saying to me that there is this new social networking website that allows people to stay in touch called facebook) and let the kids talk sometimes over the summer through that and to "make sure I am doing my job as a parent and scheduling playdates for her." "every responsible parent knows to do playdates." Well call me irresponsible then because I didn't realize academic success and good grades were directly related to the level of popularity of the student. Translation in this teacher's mind, Most popular kid in school= Highest achieving and best grades. I've received phone calls from the teacher stating that Amy would do a lot better with her math if she would just make some more friends. (I swear this is true, you cannot make this stuff up!) Then there was the phone call about Little Queen wanting to be by herself during recess. RECESS! The poor kids gets ONE 15 minute recess a day, who cares if she is needing some alone time? In your class, you focus on socializing and friends instead of teaching. Then teacher, you wonder why she can't make the jump from adding two single digit numbers to multiplication in a week next week. Teacher has even admitted to having the kids work in pairs and teach each other and thinks this is one of her best ideas in all the years of teaching. TEACH EACH OTHER? Isn't that YOUR job, not the job for a bunch of 6 year olds?
When we sat down before making the decision to homeschool, one of our goals was to have our children row up in an environment where learning and education is unswayed by popularity. My husband and I both were picked on and bullied in school for being smart. I learned early on to dumb myself down to avoid the bullies, and that was something I never wanted my girls to experience. Now it seems that this behavior is almost encouraged. Sure the bullying is not there but the idea is still the same behind it. To be popular is more important than actual learning at SCHOOL.
We also have the issue of how teacher treats me. Apparently because I used to homeschool, realized my child needed help, and got said help for her; that means I am totally uneducated, illiterate, and incapable of not only teaching anything at all to my child, but of also making decisions for her as her PARENT. I've been lectured for 15 good minutes by this person about the importance of technology and that I really need to get online and sign up for the schools parent portal which is NEW and none of the teachers really understand how to implement it and send everything home in writing anyway; and the only way I ever contact the teacher is by email. You're right though, I totally don't understand this whole inter-webs things. Teacher has called to inform me that she took the liberty of registering Little Queen for summer school so that she wasn't just sitting around all summer doing nothing. (Yes because a family of soon to be 4, actively involved in church and all three girls dance, we regularly sit around for days and stare at each other.) Then tells me that our private tutor we are paying isn't the right route to go with her, and she really needs summer school. Wait, let me get this strait. You have decided that my choices as a parent are not good enough for a child that you have known only a few short months, so you are over riding my authority as a parent and making different choices for MY CHILD.
Not. Cool.
I am in a very difficult struggle right now with whether or not I should even send her back to school next year. On one hand I want to because I know it will be a different teacher. I also know I will have a new born and very actively be trying to sell my house for a decent price and having the Little Queen and Mad Hatter starting kindergarten out of the house would be a big help. On the other hand what risks am I taking by letting her go back to this school to potentially the same type of teacher for only about a month, give or take, just to rip her across the country and throw her into a completely different school system?
What do to, what do to? Where is that wise old caterpillar and his magic hookah when you need him?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
A taste of West County...
...or should I say the over privileged that tend to flock here. This county is full over over privileged, self important, unrealistic, grown children. I've always known that, but it was home, so you deal. Now that Little Queen is in school I have been introduced to an entirely new monster. The stay at home/ room mom. Now I am a stay at home mom myself and I feel very blessed to have the life I do. We gave up many things and lived with more debt than we could have if I worked. Never assume that just because someone stays at home with their kids its because they just don't need the money. Caviat aside this stereotype is exactly what you get hit in the face with come time for school parties.
With my own school and child I have only even heard from them once. We started that school right before the "Winter Party" so I emailed the head mom (who by the way took almost a week to get back to me) and asked if I could contribute any last minute items. I was to bring TWO foam poster boards, as large as I could get them, for the "pin the nose on the snowman" game. Sure whatever, I don't have anything better to do then to spend $17 on poster board. But wait, why not just use regular 99 cent poster board and tape/sticky tack? Because it looks "more professional" to use the foam board and let a bunch of rowdy, hopped up on sugar 1st graders play with sharp push pins. SERIOUSLY? Although I do have to be thankful that our school does things differently than a friend of mine's school.
At this other school (in the same district) the Room Monsters are everywhere. At that school (and possibly ours but I just was never informed) they like all the classes in the same grade level to have the same holiday parties. So they have one head coordinator room mom that leads with all the other room moms from the 4 or 5 classes. She hosts these "planning" meetings where she tells people their ideas don't really matter because her and her closest MFFs (don't even get me started on that one!) have already planned everything. Seriously? If that's the case why make us come, just send an email and be done with it. Anyhoo, for the "friendship day" (Valentine's Day) party they wanted to play this horrible, disgusting, degrading game. You take donuts (after the hugely, sugar-coma inducing snack) and tie them to broom handles. Then you make the kids LIE ON THE GROUND ON THEIR BACKS (in a school that has recently had a lice outbreak) while you DANGLE the donuts over them and move the stick back and forth to tease them and make it harder for them to EAT THE DONUTS WITHOUT USING THEIR HANDS. Got a visual of that? Teasing the children and making them BEG for food (sounds a little prison campish to me) while forcing them to eat off the floor. WOW.
The best part comes next. One of the teacher's nixed the idea and they had to throw it out. Instead of just being adults and going with it, the email chains started. We got to see grown women type statements like "WOW who told" and "guess the fun police stepped in". (Fun police: way to teach your children that cops are heroes to serve and protect us. Get the idea in their heads young that police only ever do things to annoy people.) So my friend and her co-room mom went to their teacher and said they wanted to do their own party and the teacher agreed and possibly even sounded relieved. Get this though, the next day the principle called the room moms and told them no, because it was important for unity that ALL parties be exactly the same. Why? What purpose does it serve to make everyone do that exact same thing the exact same way. We never did growing up, would it really damage our children if they don't have the same party as the kid that plays on the playground with them?
The unrealistic nature of these women combined with how entirely out of touch they are completely floors me. You'd think I would be used to it after ten years.
Coming soon: Driving Laws in West County (with pictures)
For those of you that don't know. MFF means Mom Friends Forever. Its like BFFs for those that are too old but still want to seem hip to the younger generation.
With my own school and child I have only even heard from them once. We started that school right before the "Winter Party" so I emailed the head mom (who by the way took almost a week to get back to me) and asked if I could contribute any last minute items. I was to bring TWO foam poster boards, as large as I could get them, for the "pin the nose on the snowman" game. Sure whatever, I don't have anything better to do then to spend $17 on poster board. But wait, why not just use regular 99 cent poster board and tape/sticky tack? Because it looks "more professional" to use the foam board and let a bunch of rowdy, hopped up on sugar 1st graders play with sharp push pins. SERIOUSLY? Although I do have to be thankful that our school does things differently than a friend of mine's school.
At this other school (in the same district) the Room Monsters are everywhere. At that school (and possibly ours but I just was never informed) they like all the classes in the same grade level to have the same holiday parties. So they have one head coordinator room mom that leads with all the other room moms from the 4 or 5 classes. She hosts these "planning" meetings where she tells people their ideas don't really matter because her and her closest MFFs (don't even get me started on that one!) have already planned everything. Seriously? If that's the case why make us come, just send an email and be done with it. Anyhoo, for the "friendship day" (Valentine's Day) party they wanted to play this horrible, disgusting, degrading game. You take donuts (after the hugely, sugar-coma inducing snack) and tie them to broom handles. Then you make the kids LIE ON THE GROUND ON THEIR BACKS (in a school that has recently had a lice outbreak) while you DANGLE the donuts over them and move the stick back and forth to tease them and make it harder for them to EAT THE DONUTS WITHOUT USING THEIR HANDS. Got a visual of that? Teasing the children and making them BEG for food (sounds a little prison campish to me) while forcing them to eat off the floor. WOW.
The best part comes next. One of the teacher's nixed the idea and they had to throw it out. Instead of just being adults and going with it, the email chains started. We got to see grown women type statements like "WOW who told" and "guess the fun police stepped in". (Fun police: way to teach your children that cops are heroes to serve and protect us. Get the idea in their heads young that police only ever do things to annoy people.) So my friend and her co-room mom went to their teacher and said they wanted to do their own party and the teacher agreed and possibly even sounded relieved. Get this though, the next day the principle called the room moms and told them no, because it was important for unity that ALL parties be exactly the same. Why? What purpose does it serve to make everyone do that exact same thing the exact same way. We never did growing up, would it really damage our children if they don't have the same party as the kid that plays on the playground with them?
The unrealistic nature of these women combined with how entirely out of touch they are completely floors me. You'd think I would be used to it after ten years.
Coming soon: Driving Laws in West County (with pictures)
For those of you that don't know. MFF means Mom Friends Forever. Its like BFFs for those that are too old but still want to seem hip to the younger generation.
The pool of tears
Oh tears abound these past few weeks. Little Queen apparently isn't doing so well at school. As parents, we believe she is just being pushed too hard and for too long. We've done everything we are supposed to; had a meeting with her teacher and set a plan, working with her at home focusing on reading, bought and played games that encourage literary skills. The problem is, according to her teacher, she is not doing so well. She has only been there for 6 WEEKS, and I guess the teacher expected her to be caught up by now. That's the general rule, right? Six year olds take six weeks to catch up? Oy! Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE her teacher. I truly believe that God placed her in that classroom for a reason, she is the teacher that Little Queen needs. I just feel that maybe that wonderful teacher is pushing too hard. For most kids this works well. For Little Queen, the more you push her, the further she shuts down and tunes out.
In the attempt to try to be good parents we are doing everything that we are "supposed" to do. Every extra worksheet or game that the teacher sends home, we do it. On top of regular homework, we do worksheets and anything that comes home unfinished we have her finish. Random extra stuff that the teacher thought would be helpful. We do it all. The problem is, she is 6 and still adjusting to this new world we've thrown her in. While homeschooling we schooled year round only take few day breaks here and there. Might as well school when its too hot or too cold to do anything else outside, right? So with that schedule to get our required yearly hours we only had to do school 20 hours a week, or 4 hours a day. Now she is going 7 hours. They get 30 minutes for lunch and ONE (yes, really only 1) 15 minute recess a day. That in itself is a huge change for her and she is tired. Top that off with all the extra stuff we are doing with her and she is down right exhausted. Her day is school school school, come home, watch TV/play for about 20 minutes, read books aloud to me while I cook dinner, eat then right back to the homework, worksheets, or more reading stuff. Oh look at that, time for bed, hurry up and shower! The poor kid just isn't getting ANY breaks. No wonder she wakes up and cries that she doesn't want to go to school, I wouldn't be able to handle all that either.
Now this wonderful teacher (that I honestly really do like) is telling me she is still behind and we really need to work on catching her up. Honestly, what more can we do? I also was told today that Amy needs to make more friends. So what now, being popular is essential to learning? Who really cares that she is shy? Why does it matter if she wants to be by herself on the playground during her ONE break? God made everybody different and some of us are just introverts. IT'S OK. The frustration knows no bounds in our fragile playing card house. Top that off with the impending move and its a little much for her 6 year old psyche.
What's a mama playing card to do?
In the attempt to try to be good parents we are doing everything that we are "supposed" to do. Every extra worksheet or game that the teacher sends home, we do it. On top of regular homework, we do worksheets and anything that comes home unfinished we have her finish. Random extra stuff that the teacher thought would be helpful. We do it all. The problem is, she is 6 and still adjusting to this new world we've thrown her in. While homeschooling we schooled year round only take few day breaks here and there. Might as well school when its too hot or too cold to do anything else outside, right? So with that schedule to get our required yearly hours we only had to do school 20 hours a week, or 4 hours a day. Now she is going 7 hours. They get 30 minutes for lunch and ONE (yes, really only 1) 15 minute recess a day. That in itself is a huge change for her and she is tired. Top that off with all the extra stuff we are doing with her and she is down right exhausted. Her day is school school school, come home, watch TV/play for about 20 minutes, read books aloud to me while I cook dinner, eat then right back to the homework, worksheets, or more reading stuff. Oh look at that, time for bed, hurry up and shower! The poor kid just isn't getting ANY breaks. No wonder she wakes up and cries that she doesn't want to go to school, I wouldn't be able to handle all that either.
Now this wonderful teacher (that I honestly really do like) is telling me she is still behind and we really need to work on catching her up. Honestly, what more can we do? I also was told today that Amy needs to make more friends. So what now, being popular is essential to learning? Who really cares that she is shy? Why does it matter if she wants to be by herself on the playground during her ONE break? God made everybody different and some of us are just introverts. IT'S OK. The frustration knows no bounds in our fragile playing card house. Top that off with the impending move and its a little much for her 6 year old psyche.
What's a mama playing card to do?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Curiouser & Curiouser
So its been a few weeks since we've written and boy things have sure happened around here. Our little queen has been in school now for over a month and is steadily doing better and better. Reading comprehension is a bit of a struggle sometimes but she is getting there and only slightly behind the rest of the class. Good news for her confidence that she isn't the only one reading on that level.
Our little mad hatter is same ole wierdiepants and everyday she teaches more and more things to her little sister. She has started making up her own knock knock jokes now and likes to pretend to be a zombie. ALL THE TIME. Apparently zombie is the new superhero or something. I think I missed the memo that explained it all.
The little Cheshire cat is well, anything but little these days. Already acting all the big girl her sisters are, she has become my most independent child. Its a good thing because...surprise surprise,\, she's going to be a BIG SISTER this summer.
Yes that's right, Daddy and I had the shock of our lives when I had my physical right before Christmas. No I haven't been battling the flu for several weeks. Its not some random virus and my white blood cell count is normal. Turns out its called morning sickness. After a urine test and two blood tests its confirmed. We're having baby #4. I'm still in shock since I had a tubal ligation called ADIANA two years ago. Lesson learned? ALWAYS HAVE THE FOLLOW UP TEST DONE!
So my life in 2013? Curious that's for sure. Busy-YES. I have to fix my house up, list it for sale, HAVE A BABY, sell my house, buy a new house, and move my family half way across the country to a city that I have never visited before 1200 miles away.
The first stop on our journey? Weekend trip for mom and dad to Boston to check our neighborhoods and things they have to offer. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish us luck!
Our little mad hatter is same ole wierdiepants and everyday she teaches more and more things to her little sister. She has started making up her own knock knock jokes now and likes to pretend to be a zombie. ALL THE TIME. Apparently zombie is the new superhero or something. I think I missed the memo that explained it all.
The little Cheshire cat is well, anything but little these days. Already acting all the big girl her sisters are, she has become my most independent child. Its a good thing because...surprise surprise,\, she's going to be a BIG SISTER this summer.
Yes that's right, Daddy and I had the shock of our lives when I had my physical right before Christmas. No I haven't been battling the flu for several weeks. Its not some random virus and my white blood cell count is normal. Turns out its called morning sickness. After a urine test and two blood tests its confirmed. We're having baby #4. I'm still in shock since I had a tubal ligation called ADIANA two years ago. Lesson learned? ALWAYS HAVE THE FOLLOW UP TEST DONE!
So my life in 2013? Curious that's for sure. Busy-YES. I have to fix my house up, list it for sale, HAVE A BABY, sell my house, buy a new house, and move my family half way across the country to a city that I have never visited before 1200 miles away.
The first stop on our journey? Weekend trip for mom and dad to Boston to check our neighborhoods and things they have to offer. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish us luck!
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